Telling the Coins Apart is Easy! Jeez Louise…

Do you find it difficult to tell the new Php5 coin apart from its PHP1 sibling? Well, you must be a stupid head then, implies the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP).

In a recent Entrepreneur Philippines post, the BSP gave three reasons why it’s butt-easy to tell the damn coins apart:

“1. The new Php5 coin is heavier (7.4 grams), thicker (25-millimeters in diameter) and slightly larger than the Php1 coin…”

Spot on. We all know, of course, the PHP1 coin is only 7.27 grams and 23.74 mm in diameter.

“2. The sides of the new Php5 coin have 246 ridges…”

Bingo again! The PHP1 only has 213.

And the coup de grâce?

“3. The two coins have different designs. The Php5 coin is marked with ANDRES BONIFACIO and 5 PISO in the obverse side of the coin.”

Well of course! <forehead smack> It’s all clear as day now! All this time we were under the impression they use identical designs and numbers on different coin denominations. Thanks for clearing that up and setting us straight, BSP! (And no, I won’t bring attention to the fact that even though all you had to do was come up with three simple reasons, you ran out after just two, and had to throw in this totally duh-level #3. Good job BSP!)

FAKE NEWS ALERT!!! OK, I totally made up the #2 quote above (sadly, the #1 and #3 quotes are real). What the BSP actually said was:

2. The sides of the new Php5 coins are smooth, while the Php1 coin has ridges…

It’s true, and take note of that, because it’s very important. Get into the habit of running your fingernail across the edges of the coins. If it’s got ridges, it’s the PHP1 coin. Smooth? PHP5.

Now don’t get me started on the @#$%^& similarities between the PHP1,000 and PHP100 bills…